I'm excited for tomorrow night.
Hopefully it will be fun and I won't have to think about you.
I need the universe to stop telling me you exist.
Slow. Let's take it slow.

I go from happy to sad or disconent so often I forget what it feels like to just to feel a stable emotion.
Life is so full on sometimes that I just want to pull the covers over my head and disappear into my bed/head.
I have this place I keep my thoughts where I don't have to own up to them. It makes them feel safe.
I pretend to be busy sometimes just so I can take a breath. Everyone needs to take stock of their lives every now and then.
The fact that you make my head spin is a good thing, but the way that I can't stop thinking about every little thing we do/say has me going crazy. Not a good kind of crazy, the crazy that makes me wonder if things are really happening or if I am making them up.
I haven't felt this way in a while, I haven't let myself. The walls always come crashing down.
Time's a bastard. We always think it's on our side, but then it all runs out and we have nothing left. I feel like there is a clock ticking next to my ear, reminding me of every second that passes. We never wait for those that get left behind.
Living in memories is living in the past, and that is where my head wanders. Piece together the stories of the photographs that line the walls, the people that pass on the street. I want to make memories that have me smiling when I am old and no one wants to talk to me.
Movies go on repeat to remind me of the way life could be, but never will be because there is no script, no perfect line and no perfect kiss. It just gives us something to hope for in the end.

I want to not be disappointed. Please let it be something that I can use as an anthem of my life right now. I own you, yet I haven't listened to you.

I'm sick of backwards forward ups and downs.
I hate that I haven't seen you in forever, I'm dying just for a hug.
The house is empty and I've never felt more alone.



I hate that I am falling in so many directions right now.
My heart wants me to go all in.
My head tells me it's not worth the pain.
I'm overthinking everything,
And I'm not so sure about anything anymore.

Just when I give up you call me beautiful.
My head is spinning.

"There goes my hero,
Watch him as he goes,
There goes my hero,
He's ordinary"

Everywhere I look there is a God damn reminder of you.
Your name is drawn into the concrete.
It's like you've taken over my head.
I know I like you, but I don't want to be obsessed with you.
Give me my head back.

I can't help but feel so content and happy right now.
I don't remember what it was like to have these butterflies.
I've had them before but I don't remember.
He makes me smile, but he probably doesn't realize it.
He makes me laugh, even when things are not funny.
Even being a friend makes me happy.
It's time to get back to liking the simple things.
just so I can remember how great all these things feel.

I'm just going to follow my heart.
I should have been doing this all along.

This all feels weird.
This is not like me.
I want it bad, but can't have it.
Gonna have to sleep this one off.
Everything just needs a cold shower.

sometimes I forget that I exist.