"From childhood's hour I have not been
      As others were; I have not seen
      As others saw; I could not bring
      My passions from a common spring.
      From the same source I have not taken
      My sorrow; I could not awaken
      My heart to joy at the same tone;
      And all I loved, I loved alone.
      Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
      Of a most stormy life- was drawn
      From every depth of good and ill
      The mystery which binds me still:
      From the torrent, or the fountain,
      From the red cliff of the mountain,
      From the sun that round me rolled
      In its autumn tint of gold,
      From the lightning in the sky
      As it passed me flying by,
      From the thunder and the storm,
      And the cloud that took the form
      (When the rest of Heaven was blue)
      Of a demon in my view."

-Edgar Allen Poe, 'Alone'

head moving faster than my body
taking all the strength in the world not to scream
counting to keep my breathing even
don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic don't panic

"I'm holding out and I'm holding on
to every letter and every song.
I pulled myself out of the day we ever had to meet.
Are you through with me?

So..

And when it all goes to hell,
will you be able to tell
me you're sorry with a straight face.

Let's Go!

I'm all ears and I'm all scars
to hear you tell me "Boy's like you, you try too hard
to look not quite as desperate". I'm hanging on.
But I still know the way to make your makeup run.

So..

And when it all goes to hell,
will you be able to tell
me you're sorry with a straight face.

And when it all goes to hell, (Take this to your grave)
will you be able to tell
me you're sorry with a straight face. (I'll take it to mine)

And when it all goes to hell
And when it all goes."

-Fall Out Boy, "The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes"

you are not the sum of your mistakes, but the beautiful result of every success you ever had.

I want to do nothing but dream tonight.
I miss remembering what dreams were made of.

sometimes i am so tired i can barely open my eyes
i've been dreaming you up all day long
tossing and turning with sleep as my enemy
sometimes i get so tired i can barely keep it up

I don't think we're ever meant to truly have it together,
but I like pretending that one day I will have suddenly changed everything.
I guess when things go bad it's hard to think about them ever getting better,
but then they do in the strangest of ways.
I find myself being grateful for the friends I do have,
Imaginary and real.
I still miss the old days,
And sometimes I wonder if I was ever really meant to exist in this time and place.
I can't help but think if everyone else thinks the same way I do.
Sometimes I feel alone in everything and that doesn't scare me.
Most of the time I feel alone in everything and that is the scariest thing in the world.
In the end, we are all alone when we die,
And I want to be able to tell myself that I lived my life to the best,
That I really am an okay person.
Sometimes I have strange dreams,
Sometimes I have nightmares.
More often than not I'm just glad to be breathing.

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man thats gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)"

-The Script, 'Breakeven'

"dylan went electric.
so did we.
but in my head kind of only.
nobody cared.
its hard being careless, even harder to be carefree.
i fight walls in hotel rooms more than i have ever slept next to someone in them.
tricking yourself into thinking you matter enough for someone to remember to forget you is the best kind of magic of all.
it is fast and hard.
ive seen yr world. ive breathed in it and written of it.
i dont care for it though.
i dont read your reviews or your clippings anymore.
i try not to obsess over obsession.
im lonely but like a cigarette. im always being smoked.
put to mouths and then put out.
my mouth moves faster than my head ever could and lets not even speak of the words at my finger tips.
they are never thought through.
they just come and come.
like light under the door.
sometimes poets speak with their fists.
trying to write my way out of everything.
it was simple to write "wouldnt piss to put you out" and "kiss her, kiss her".
its a bit harder to mean anything to myself.
its a shame that the days that are glorified are the ones i just wish would fade.
sleep on a curb. wake up with a smile.
dream of sometime better."