The things you do to help others.

And usually you get nothing in return.

But that's okay.

One day you can dream it all to come back full circle.

People tell me I'm too nice.

Sometimes I wonder if I am changing for better or worse.

Take breaks.

Write shit.

Build forts.

Grow up.

Stay young at heart.

We should put all of our awesome into a room.

Bottle that shit up.

It's amazing how quickly some people come and go from your life. Some important, some not. Some related by blood, others by memories. It all leaves a scar in some small way, no matter how important they seemed to be at the time.

She was never as close to me as she is now, but that is because she needed me and I was there. When she doesn't need me anymore, that's the day I won't be there.

He came into my life like a whirlwind, took me by surprise. He left as quickly as he came though, he never tried hard enough.

She was my side kick, then I left her in the dust. She wasn't willing to leave it all behind and I don't ever want to go back.

I used to see him every day, then we moved away. Now I can never see him again. It's like not being able to breathe. I still think about him way to often.

Sometimes I want to go back to when I didn't know anything but my own back yard.

Love fools everybody.

I honestly want this to be the best holiday ever.
I feel like it's all in your hands.
That scares me.
I think you hate me.
I hate me.

Yeah. I keep making excuses for you.
It is something I am good at.
The day you don't need them anymore,
Well that's the day I'll realize that I actually dislike you.

At the end of the day, all I want is to be loved for me.
Simple.

I can't be suprised.
It doesn't work.
I knew you wouldn't bother.
I know you don't care.
I just wish you could see that I want what you want.
Nothing else.
Nothing more.

Happy 22.
Old but so new.
Bad patch.
I hate the way you make me feel.
It's rare but it hurts.
We laugh so much that when we aren't,
I don't know what to say/do.
I don't know what life is without you.
I don't know how to fix things.
I don't know how to act.
I forgot what being a person feels like.
It's easier to pretend I am happy.
It's easier to pretend that I am a person.
No one need see me.
No one need hear me.
I will sit here.
Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.

I can be so stupid sometimes.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I know you can't help who you like.
I know you do stupid things for the people you love.
I thought I was better than this.
Text message me through the day.
Talk to me when it matters.
Convienient for you.
Stupid mistakes.
Live through it. Learn from it.
Build, break, build, break, build, break.
It goes on a repeating cycle/circle.
I wish I could fastforward to happy. To future. To the end.

You make me crazy. The only type of crazy that you have the cure for. The type of crazy that would be cured by a hug, a phone call, a kiss, some acknowledgement of my existance, of how much I mean to you. You mean the world to me, already. So fast. I feel like one of those lunatics that everyone whispers about, that person that no one wants to talk to because they're batshit crazy and kind of freaky, yet deep down they are harmless because they just lost something they loved so fucking much that they no longer feel complete. I'm not complete. Every second you're not here, I'm not complete. It feels so weird. People say it's like missing a limb, but I can't say that it is, if you loose your arm you can get used to that shit, like sure, you get the phantom pains and whatever, but you can adjust, you can continue living, this feels like a fucking hole is eating from the inside out, I can't get used to this and I can't even say that I could adjust to this. You make me question everything I've ever said about love, about marriage, about life. You make me want to just make you happy, and that would mean that I would do anything, almost anything. I have limits and I think I am reaching mine. I'm going crazy. Batshit, insane person, crazy. It's not fun. And all of it is because I miss you.